I'm so far down, away from the sun again

Wish I knew where I stand
Hope to figure out these things I am feeling
One moment up and the other down
It's a winding lane and I'm twisting around

Somehow one chapter has reached its end
The next one has taken its course
Clearly, the story goes on,
but still stuck in understanding what happened before

Conflicts, confusion, unexplored terrain,
all together are driving me insane
A change in what i'm thinking, feeling, saying, doing
Tell me, am I new person now?

Is it me, is it who I want to be?
Is there a metamorphosis or is it evolution?
For the better or the worse?
Such a mind- numbing turmoil

Cannot find a guiding light
to reveal what's going on
Cannot seem to fathom a damn thing
just playing along with the tide

Will I hurt or cause pain?
Will I be able to discern?
Or is that how it goes?
Figuring, discovering, knowing, realization?

- Anonymous