Monday 24 September 2012

Did you dare to expect?

Walking along a path...going your way..choosing your direction...or maybe going with the flow..it's your wish    and you might not even have given it a thought..you just move...

And then chance upon a hill..there is a way to go by the valley or climb the hill...you take the chance or get a feeling to just take the unconventional route and give the hill a shot..it's steep...it's tough..and not something you signed up for, but you don't know that yet.

So you're busy doing it your way..setting your foot on a firm rock to propel yourself up, placing your hands at the right spot to lift up and climb the hill..it's challenging, fun, enjoyable and you're doing well.

Out of the blue, a rope drops. A sign of help. Someone up there wants to lend you a hand, that's strange! you didn't ask for it! Should you take it?? That's a dilemma it'll be easier for sure, but weren't you liking giving yourself that thrill? But wait! The rope might be fun too, let's go for it.,.you take it and indeed it's a smooth ride and you're glad for some company..some indication that you aren't alone and you can get to the top of this hill and cross it!

Suddenly the rope starts becoming lose, as if the support is waning..it soon starts withdrawing..without any explanation..any sign..it's gone and you're some way up but the rest you gotta make it on your own. That's ok. Weren't you helping yourself before that? Weren't you absolutely happy? Now why do you miss that rope? Why do you think someone was trying to support you? It's your journey...you have to find your way...

But still..you wait...in total anticipation, you hope, you pray - that rope will drop again..You can't move forward..you can't take a step ahead...all those techniques you knew to climb the hill with just fail before you..you can't figure it out..you need that rope..rope rope rope...your brain's full of it..but does it come? No. Not when you want it. Not when you crave for it. 

Thursday 6 September 2012

One off.

Why....sometimes there's no reason.... there's no explanation. you just move forward and leave a trail behind. A plethora of people, things, moments, times, reasons, meanings, words, thoughts, state of mind, beliefs. Everything moves in a different direction, a symbol of change. And how you react shapes you. First reaction is disbelief, discomfort, denial, refusal, rejection, pain.........

Then comes the second stage...realisation, eureka! - revelation.....which finally leads to acceptance, or trying to convince yourself that yeah this is it. This is where I start afresh. This is my next chance. I have to be strong and accept this step...because only after acceptance comes acknowledgement of your position...a true  assessment of where you stand.

A common way to soothe oneself is nothing is in your hands. haha. So untrue. Everything lies with you. You own yourself. You will have to stop taking something which you don't deserve or you have to make something happen for you....nothing and no one will come served on a platter...you make it. Words are the easiest and at the same time effective, but action is rare.

Let's wander, let's roam..let's find a place of our own...
figure out who we are.. utilize our potential...exert ourselves to the hilt...
dream..breathe...feel....see...observe...inhale...
find your own...belong..be wanted...give...extend...smile...feel happy in there...
so tough..so much effort...all for nothing?

Positivism shall prevail...sooner or later. Never forget to believe. Trust who you must.

So freaking philosophical. Moi? Haha. 

Saturday 14 July 2012

Something in what they say

So every word has a meaning...and so does every song. And I connect with every song with some meaning... Some lyrics just go aptly with my frame of mind... I'm a crazy lyrics person - they mean the world to me..and I really appreciate the people who wrote songs even though composing them is tough but giving the feel to the music is also commenndable...so here are some of the lyrics I love the most...

 1. And how can I stand here and not be moved by you
 Would you tell me how could it be any better than this
 Cause you're all I want you're all I need..
You are everything.
Everything by Lifehouse 


 2. Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
-Killing in the name of by Rage Against The Machine 


 3. Hunt you down without mercy, hunt you down all nightmare long Luck runs out , but you crawl back in But your luck runs out -a!
- All nightmare long by Metallica

 4. How can I be lost when I've got nowhere to go
 Search for seas of gold
 How come it's got so cold
And how can i be lost In remembrance I relive
 And how can I blame you when it's me I can't forgive?
 - Unforgiven 3 by Metallica 

 5. In this world there real and make believe and this seems real to me
 I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
 When all the pieces fall apart you'll be the only one who knows
 - Let me go by Three Doors Down

 6. You make me wanna call u in the middle of the night
 U make me wanna hold you till the morning light
U make me wanna love
U make me wanna fall
 U make me wanna surrender my soul
- U make me wanna by Blue 

 7. The sound of your own voice must soothe you
 Hearing only what you wanna hear
 - My friend of misery by Metallica

 8. Mr. Charming, did you think you were pure
 Mr. Alarming, in nocturnal rapport
Uncovering things that were sacred, manifest on this earth
(Oh)Conceived in the eye of a secret
Yeah, they scattered the afterbirth
-Mr. Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne 


 9. Talk to me softly
     There's something in your eyes,
     Don't hang your head in sorrow
     And please don't cry.
I know how you feel inside, I've been there before
Something's changing inside you
And don't you know?

Don't you cry tonight, I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight, There's a heaven above you baby
Don't you cry tonight

-Don't cry by Guns n Roses

10. Nothin' lasts forever and we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November rain
And whenyour fears subside and shadows still remain,
oh yeah I know that you can love me when there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness we still can find a way
Nothin' lasts forever even cold November rain.
- November rain by Guns n Roses

11. And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
      I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
      There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed,
      Staring down the barrel of a 45.
  - 45 by Shinedown



Sunday 27 May 2012

It's your life, woman!



A speech by Sheryl Sandberg, COO Facebook.

Indeed extremely inspiring. She is urging women to take the ambitious route, to dream big, to lean in and not make decisions on the basis of the future. From this, what I have realised is to live for the present and to live for   myself. One of the biggest hurdle in the progress of women is obviously the majority of men and more than them, a lot of women too. That's my understanding. Why accept what the so-called society dictates and why let  other women suffer from what one woman suffered? In the name of 'protecting' women, and 'making them behave in a certain way' (will never understand this shit), women are curbed world over. You have to speak out, you have to take your stand and other women especially have to and should support you.

At least the developed world offers equality, but like Sheryl mentions equality isn't quality..you have to push yourself and believe in yourself to reach the top of your job! Well, for developing countries, it's a completely different situation. Women are simply a commodity to be used and abused. Extremely small percentage of women are empowered to think and do what they want. Like me. My parents have given me the complete freedom and they never hold the "you're a woman" sword over my head. And that has given me tremendous confidence to dream, to try, to hope that I can do as I want. When I see and read cases where women do not even possess basic rights (from the extremely rich and educated women just marrying an even richer guy and giving up their career for household chores to the women who are supposed to cover every inch of their body and be beaten for wearing nail polish! http://now.msn.com/now/0525-saudi-nail-polish-defiance.aspx),
it makes me realise, we have a LONG way to go to change people's mindset! If the young lot won't THINK any different, they won't DO any different. Your society doesn't define you and make you. You make your life, whoever you are. Have to stop giving the power to judge you to the world! Live and let live! When will people understand?

Till then, I'm extremely lucky to have such amazing and understanding parents. And I hope I can make a difference. 

Saturday 17 March 2012

I'm so far down, away from the sun again

Wish I knew where I stand
Hope to figure out these things I am feeling
One moment up and the other down
It's a winding lane and I'm twisting around

Somehow one chapter has reached its end
The next one has taken its course
Clearly, the story goes on,
but still stuck in understanding what happened before

Conflicts, confusion, unexplored terrain,
all together are driving me insane
A change in what i'm thinking, feeling, saying, doing
Tell me, am I new person now?

Is it me, is it who I want to be?
Is there a metamorphosis or is it evolution?
For the better or the worse?
Such a mind- numbing turmoil

Cannot find a guiding light
to reveal what's going on
Cannot seem to fathom a damn thing
just playing along with the tide

Will I hurt or cause pain?
Will I be able to discern?
Or is that how it goes?
Figuring, discovering, knowing, realization?

- Anonymous



2012- A totally new beginning!

Can hardly believe that life has changed so much...never thought years would begin from April and life would revolve around quarters but that's what seems to be happening now! But I'm not complaining! In fact I'm taking  life head on as it's coming my way...Work is great - not only in terms of what I'm learning and doing but also in terms of interacting with people around me. It's really fun going to work now because of my friends there....our group has become insane fun now!! It's like we're laughing all the time and just enjoying talking all the time..it hardly seems like office environment... thats a good thing..because then its not only about the work...went on a trip and got crazy...it's been going good...




Some moments:
 Washroom moments!!!!


 Narangi Doodhwala !
Awasthi Speaker wala !
 K-girl, Roller and CJ!